In
order to truly comprehend the true essence of all that is mullet, a few terms
must be studied and understood.
butt-rock
(but-rk) rock n' roll music produced from the
mid 70's to present that has the following characteristics: four or five male
members with long, feathered hair (bangs are common, but not necessary) or mullets,
wailing guitar solos, distorted guitars, and lyrics about women, sex, drugs,
Satan, and fast cars.
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Typical
butt-rock bands are Winger, Scorpions, Dio, Ted Nugent, The Marshall Tucker
Band, Metallica (1990-present), Whitesnake, Def Leppard, Journey, Krokus,
Accept, W.A.S.P., Van Halen, Sammy Hagar, Slash's Snakepit etc.
BUTT
ROCK FOR A NEW GENERATION: Rap-Metal (not to be confused with original
bands like RATM or Anthrax) Kid Rock, Limp Bizkit, Coal Chamber, ICP etc.
These bands carry on the tradition of using the artform of music to make
profound statements like: "I did it all for the nookie, c'mon, the
nookie, c'mon, the nookie, so you can take that cookie, and stick it up
your ass" and "Cowboy, Baby." By backing up these deep
thoughts with aggressive music, Limp Bizkit focuses the youth's energy...well...no
where really, except to rape girls at woodstock maybe.
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coldneck:
a non-mullet. note: just because someone
is a coldneck, doesn't mean they don't possess mulletude.
construction
rock: butt rock which is played on the radio.
crank
(krank) a low cost methamphetamine--commonly
used by mulletheads (San Jose biker crank seems to be a favorite). note:
methamphetamine was invented
by the Japanese in 1919 and used by the
Nazis in WWII for the purpose of keeping their soldiers alert--and is now used
by every-day Americans to escape from the slave-state in which they exist.
mullet* (mu' lit) 1. any of a family of edible, spiny-rayed fishes
found in fresh and salt waters and having a small mouth and feeble teeth, as
the striped (or gray) mullet. 2. any haircut which the sides and top
of the hair are cut significantly shorter than the back.
The
term "mullet" has now been seen in Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn:
"They're so confiding and mullet-headed they don't take notice of nothing
at all."
neato (thanx 2 carrie).
Other
terms for the hairstyle known to me and many others as the "mullet"
include, but are not limited to:
- 7 (the shape of the number)
- 10-90 (changes
in numbers proportion to the amount of hair on top and in the back)
- achy-breaky-bad-mistakey
- ape drape
- backpack
(SASSY Krue)
- beaver
paddle
- bi-level
- business
in the front, party in the back (whorehouse cut)
- camaro
cut
- canadian
passport
- coupe longueuil (Canadian)
- el-camino
- hockey
hair
- IROC cut
- kentucky
waterfall
- longueuil
- manny
- missouri compromise
- mudflap
- neckwarmer
- ranchero
- SFLB(svelbie)=Short
Front, Long Back
- STLB(stilbie)=Short
Top, Long Back
- safety
cut
- schlong
(short+long)
- sho-lo
- shag
- shorty-longback
- soccer
rocker
- squirrel
pelt
- tennessee
tophat
- yep-nope
- bla bla bla bla bla bla
bla...
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mulletude
(mu' li'
tewd) the attitude that comes with the adornment of the mullet,
behaviors can include the following: beating one's spouse, scowling or
sneering at those who don't have mullets, engaging in fights on a regular
basis (preferably with those who are not part of the mullet brotherhood),
stealing, pedophilia, listening to butt-rock, attending monster
truck rallies, driving a Chevrolet Camaro (model years 1970-1993) or mini-truck,
snorting crank, working in construction, misogyny, getting angry at the
drop of a hat, date rape, speaking in an inappropriately loud voice...see
picture below.
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Mustache Rock: similar to butt rock, mustache rock usually consists
of a 5 member band (2 of which must have mustaches on at least one album cover)
which records no fewer than 2 power ballads per album: Kansas, Foriegner, Chicago,
etc.
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