Classifications: Section IV
31. feathermullet
the late eighties/early nineties were when the feathermullets and minitruckmullets started to gain political and economic power over the camaromullets. Distinguishing characteristics include: Z Cavaricci, Reebok, IZOD, Gecko, Mitsubishi.
the male feathermullet begins its brood while in high school and marries the mullet mate the day after he graduates. in order to keep the species alive and concentrated in in areas such as Modesto and Stockton, CA, the feathermullet will aquire a management position at multiple fast food restaurants and sow his oats with as many of the emotionally disturbed female employees as he can.
- Mulletude: 10
- Aggressiveness: 10
- Hobbies: row dee ohs, sex on the couch, philling mick crevace
- Sightings: makeout point, church
- Favorite Band: was White Lion, now it's Pearl Jam and the guys who sing "Smells Like Teen Spirit." they have a good video
32. nice
this is what everyone should look like when they're in their early teens.
i have some glasses like that myself. i like to take them off really fast and stare someone in the eye while pointing my finger in their face and yelling about how they don't know what's really going on.
- Mulletude: 2
- Aggressiveness: 5
- Hobbies: breakin' hearts, kickin' ass
- Sightings: suburbs
- Favorite Band: guess
Note: tube soxxs rokk.
33. snakemullet
when cornered by a predator with no chance of survival nor escape, the snakemullet will whip his tightly braided mullet of death in a frenzied manner for around 5 minutes, then curl up in the fetal position and rock back and forth (a la gn'r "don't cry" video).
- Mulletude: 6
- Aggressiveness: 10
- Hobbies: green
- Sightings: dry lakebeds, under stones, cavernous areas
- Favorite Band: Slash's Snakepit
34. The Future of America
35. No se. Pero es chistoso...
- Mulletude: 2
- Aggressiveness: 1
- Hobbies: elebrate the mullet, a mullet on da head, gilrfriend with a mullet (i know, i know, it's hideous).
- Sightings: cold-sore clinics, sa-lons
- Favorite Band: live 105
36. Sweathogmullet
where the hell do creatures like this come from?
more importantly, where would we be without them?
hold me, i'm scared.
- Mulletude: 2
- Aggressiveness: 3
- Hobbies: richard simmons
- Sightings: woody station wagons
- Favorite Band: Tesla
37. toxicmullet
loveble and cuddly yet deadly, the toxicmullet can spew blood from his eyes when attacked.
most women fear it; those who don't will assuredly achieve the ultimate orgasm.
- Mulletude: 5
- Aggressiveness: 5
- Hobbies: porn shops, shopping malls, mickey d's (in your mouth is bad for your health)
- Sightings: facilities
- Favorite Band: Meatloaf
38. fuck yeah
that's what i'm talkin' 'bout, son.
all white = all night.
- Mulletude: 10
- Aggressiveness: 10
- Hobbies: >boozin', whorin', swearin', spittin', kickin' ass, takin' names
- Sightings: extinct: 1986
- Favorite Band: Golden Earring
39. Anthtrax
oakley razorblades, light, tight bluejeans, fear-imposing stance, molestache, green carpeting
much like the sprayable disease, as well as the metal band, there is little one can do once infected 'cept for to submit and watch their bowels turn to paste.
- Mulletude: 10
- Aggressiveness: 10
- Hobbies: beer, bashing, taking it like a man
- Sightings: fresno, bakersfield
- Favorite Band: Public Enemy
40. alive with pleasure
Plotting the death of millions for sure.
- Mulletude: 10
- Aggressiveness: 4
- Hobbies: manifestos, prostitutes, secrateries
- Sightings: Kalamazoo, MI
- Favorite Band: ICP